 The Journal - July 18- July 24, 1999 |
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7-23-99 Friday Leaving for the houseboat trip! Won't be back online til Tuesday. Miss me lots! 7-22-99 Thursday Someone forwarded an email where he and his friend were discussing me and analyzing me. It was a little bizarre to read a complete stranger's analysis of me that they were sending to another complete stranger. I remember a friend once told me that he had friends who would get together at lunch and discuss my daily journal entries. Yes, as I putting my life out for public scrutiny I should expect this but it's still a little strange to hear that I might be the topic of discussion/conversations among people who are virtual strangers to me. Am I complaining? No, of course not. I'm just a little surprised by it.
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Ok, seems like quite a few people agree that it would not be a good idea for me to put up banners for condom ads on my site. I really don't want my site to be too commercialized but at the same time, extra income from the ads helps with the cost of maintaining my site.
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I think people are getting confused when I refer to my ex's. I don't mention them by name so whenever I refer to any one guy, people always assume that it's the same person. No, when I refer to "him" it's someone that I've been talking about for over a year now. The ex that turned out to be a jerk is someone else and is really not someone worth mentioning, just a speedbump in the road of my life. But I learned from the experience and so it affects the way I handle relationships now. Now I know to trust my gut instincts and stay clear when I see danger signs or I will be destined to repeat my mistakes.
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The gratuitous daily photo... Double Trouble
_____________________________________ When Dave Lau and I were down by the Wharf, we went by my friend's lingerie store in Pier 39. It's a really fun store and had we had a little more time I probably would have stopped to try on a few things but we had to go meet DKSF for dinner that night. Anyway, she's got a lot of really cool things besides lingerie. Go check it out!
I found this item particularly interesting...
7-21-99 Wednesday I remember when I broke up with my BF I thought "You were the one that was supposed to protect me from all the hurt. You were supposed to care for me and shield me from the pain that others could cause me. You weren't supposed to be the one to cause me pain. You were supposed to love me."
I
don't know what he does to make you cry,
When
you talk, does it seem like he's not
You know if your hands go thru a lot of wear and tear, you develop callouses and the skin gets hard and rough. I wonder if your heart is like that. After enough wear and tear, it eventually gets hardened and you don't feel anymore. I hope so.
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Thanks to all who wrote in about my sensitivity to MSG. Apparently it's a common problem and many people have reactions to MSG. I guess I just need to be careful about what I order at restaurants.
_____________________________________ The Director of Marketing at this company called Condom sense has contacted me about displaying banners on my site to sell condoms. Now I have nothing against condoms and I believe in safe sex as much as the next person but I wonder if having condom ads on my site would change the tone of my site. I don't want people to come to my site, see ads for condoms and immediately think of S-E-X. I can see how buying condoms online can be a good thing though. It's especially embarassing for women to buy condoms in stores. Or um, so I've heard. What do you guys think?
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I was talking to Dave Lau last night and he was telling me how it was hot and humid in Hawaii. He said he missed the San Francisco weather. Are you kidding? Yikes, I'd trade this cold, foggy weather for a little sunshine any day. In fact, I may just do that. Hopefully I can make a trip out to visit Dave in a couple months. Here's a pic Dave took of me when we were walking around Fisherman's Wharf. My, how very patriotic of me.
No, I wasn't wearing this hat around all day. We were just goofing around trying them on.
_____________________________________ I realized last night that I'm going to be the only single/unattached female on the houseboat trip. Not that I'm complaining mind you. It's just interesting that every year there are fewer and fewer single women that go on the trip. Hmm, wonder if we'll do the rave again this year since Terry, Marcus and Ernie will be there. They are the rave kings. But we need Naomi. Darn, where's Naomi this year? Two years ago we had a rave party up on the roof of the houseboat. It was really cool but kinda scary when you went downstairs and looked up, you could see the the roof moving where the people where dancing upstairs. I tried to talk Gabbi into going but she couldn't make it since she was just starting her new J-O-B. Oh well, maybe next year Gabz.
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Kevin is very excited about his the laptop he got from his new job. I'm very excited that Kevin's excited.
Unfortunately, with Kevin's new job he doesn't have as much time to update his journal as he used to so I've decided to pick up the slack. I don't think I'll be doing 3-4 updates a day but hey, a little here, a little there. Who knows.
_____________________________________ Fredlet and I constantly quote lines from the show "Friends" and make obscure references to various episodes. We brought up the question: "Which Friends character are you?" Fred thinks she's Monica. I see the neurosis there but I don't think she's totally Monica. Fred and Roy say that I'm Rachel but puh-lease... I am soooo NOT Rachel. If anything, I think I'm more Phoebe-like. So what about you? Which Friends character are you?
_____________________________________ And here's the gratuitous daily photo...
7-20-99 Tuesday Holy Smokes, I went into a serious food coma today after lunch. Actually it was really bad, I'm wondering if I'm allergic to MSG (monosodium glutamate). Can you be allergic to MSG? All I know is if I eat certain dishes in Chinese restaurants, they cause me to become really sleepy to the point where I can't function and I have to lie down. This has happened several times now. Today after lunch, Fredlet and I stopped by the grocery store after lunch before returning to work and about 5 minutes after we started shopping, I felt it hit me. I felt this dazed grogginess overtake me and I just started following Fredlet around mindlessly. It was kinda scary. All I could think of was, "Must... lie... down..." It felt like parts of my brain were shutting down. Like I need to be more braindead than I already am. Sigh.
_____________________________________ The houseboat trip is this weekend and I thought I wouldn't be able to make since I didn't think I could take the time off from work but now I think I may just go after work and have a shortened trip. Hmm, I'm kind of excited now because I had resigned myself to not going and now I am so I have to think about what I'm going to pack and stuff like that. I don't think I'm going to be doing my "cholo-style" waverunner antics, as Bryan called them. I spoke to Kent last week and we were talking about last year's houseboat trip. He said "Damn girl, you were crazy on that jetski. You were the only one that actually scared me when we were riding. You kept trying to flip that thing!" I wasn't trying to flip it silly, I was trying to throw you off. Hee hee.
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Doh! I did a bad bad thing. When compiling my list of attendees of the webmasters dinner on Saturday, I left Nelson off the list! Yikes! Somebody spank me! Well my apologies to Nels but in all fairness, I just visited his site to read his journal entry and I noticed once again he has taken my site off of his personal links page. So now I don't feel so bad for leaving him off the attendee list. hee hee. Just kidding Nels. Thanks to Brian of The Yams for pointing letting me know I forgot Nels from the list. Brian has recently started up the "Yam Cam", stop by and take a peek.
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This is me and Fredlet mugging for the camera at the webmasters dinner last Saturday. I'm not really that dark, it's the lighting. Or lack thereof. There are more pics but I think we want to run them by everyone before posting their pictures up.
And here's the gratuitous daily photo...
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The death of JFK Jr., his wife and sister-in-law is just so tragic. It brought me to tears this morning when watching segments on his childhood and how much tragedy his family has been through. It makes me think of how lives can be changed in a instant. Any one of us could go at any given time. I know for me, I often have trouble seeing the bigger when it comes to my daily life. I get all bent out of shape and/or stress over little things sometimes. I obsess, I overanalyze, I go around and around in little circles tying myself up in knots and I forget that most of the time, the things that bother me, hurt me or frighten me are just moments in time. And that maybe a week, a month or a year later, I will barely remember what was troubling me so much at that time. Time and time again, I have to remind myself that I need to step back and look at the bigger picture, gain perspective on things. But I think one of my main problems is that I'm really, really emotional so that often I react to things without sitting down and thinking them through. I wonder if that comes with maturity. That ability to keep your emotions in check while you weigh the various factors and access the situations that you encounter. Maybe I need to grow up a little. Or maybe I need to up my meds a little. Could be both.
7-19-99 Monday Ok, I've been really, really bad about not updating my journal but this totally motivated me to write an update. I went to one of my favorite sites today, the AznThugz MP3s site only to find that it had been shut down. I can't tell you how bummed I am. I go to this site almost everyday to check out the new stuff they have. Well, they will be missed and it was great while it lasted. I want to thank DaiLo-D and the whole AznThugz Crew for doing such a great job. _____________________________________ I had the most amazing weekend. Dave Lau from Hawaii came out and we had a really great time hanging out and roaming around the Bay Area. First, Friday night, Dave Lau, Dave Kwan and I went to one of my fave restaurants in the city, The House on Grant Ave. My friend Louis really took care of us and the meal was excellent. Then Saturday the two Daves and I went down to Fry's in Palo Alto and did the geek thing. Roamed around there for awhile and amazingly, both of them left there without a single purchase! After that we headed over to the Obon festival in Mountain View hoping to hook up with Gabbi but we didn't see her and we had to leave at 6:30 to catch dinner in SF with the rest of the Webmasters. Dinner was an incredible event, the biggest one ever. In attendance were: Fredlet Dinner was at Punahele and afterwards a bunch of us took off for the Equinox for drinks and dessert. Sunday was a marathon shopping day for me and Dave Lau. We both bought Fossil watches! I should have taken a picture of us wearing our new aquisitions. Dave was kind enough to be my fashion consultant while shopping for the day as I put on a mini fashion show at Macy's, then Nordstroms. We spent about 6 hours shopping downtown and then headed over to Fisherman's Wharf for a touristy walk down there. Then for dinner we met up with DKSF again at Straits Cafe. I love that place! Well the marathon Dave Lau weekend is over but I think I'm going to have to plan another trip down to Hawaii. Fortunately, Dave will be coming back in October for another visit. I'm trying to convince him to move here. Come on Dave, resistance is futile... Kevin, Dave L, Stumpy, Lance... Can I just state for the record that Hawaiian guys are really, really attractive... Make that really, really, REALLY attractive. I was checking out Kevin's site today and I'm jealous that the's got a new pic up pretty much every day. Made me feel lame. Especially since I haven't been updating my journal lately. Ok Kev, you've motivated me. Here's a pic for today.
Ok, no guarantees that I'll be putting up a new pic in the journal every day. But I'm gonna try to go back to updating regularly so I'll try to do a new pic every day too. __________________________________ Mare sent me this pic of Stumpy a while ago but I never got around to posting it til now. Sigh. Would people mind if I just kept posting pics of good-looking guys?
Larry Wong sent me this pic and I thought it was totally hilarious. Japanese inventions... too funny.
Bless you??
__________________________________ I shared this with my brother Lionel last night and thought I'd share this will all of you too. I saw this guy standing across the street at the crosswalk the other day. Didn't think much of him one way or the other and then as we got close to passing each other he kind of had this strange expression on his face and I was shocked to realize that it was this guy that I had had a crush on for 7 years! I kid you not. From the time I was 14 til I was 21 I had the biggest crush on this guy. I can still remember the first time I saw him, he was 13 at the time. (I have this thing about younger men.) I can even remember what he was wearing at the time. Anyway, all throughout highschool and most of college I liked him. I'm pretty sure he knew that I liked him too. Every time he'd walk by or say hi to me, I'd start to stammer and walk away. I think he eventually thought I was just really weird and lame. Anyway, I was telling my brother that I saw this guy and didn't even recognize him. He looked like a completely different person. Amazing how people can change throughout the years. The only way I recognized him was that facial expression he made when he walked by. After 7 years of staring at the guy and obsessing from afar, I knew just about every facial expression that guy could make. Frightening isn't it? Well, the thing was, when I saw him, there was absolutely no attraction there. Just the shocked realization that that was him. My brother was shocked to hear how much he had changed too, since Lionel knew about my big crush too. Well, that was weird. I kept thinking about it throughout the day. Just thought I'd share that with y'all.
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