7-9-99 Friday

Man, I can't believe I went for 2 weeks without updating my journal.   Well, I've been a little out of it these past few weeks.   But I'm feeling a little more of my old self again.

I was listening to the radio today and that song "Unpretty" by TLC came on. This was the first time I really listened to the lyrics and they really struck me.  They totally made me think of "him".   I don't think of him much these days but that song reminded me so much of him and how he used to make me feel.

Unpretty

I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

Chorus:
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That man can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)

What do you do when the person who matters most to you makes you feel bad about yourself, inside and outside?    You stay and continue to be miserable, or you walk away and save yourself.

All you can do is be the best person that you can be and hope that the one you love, loves you for who you are and who you aspire to be.

   

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