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6-4-99 Friday I composed this long, articulate, heartfelt message to my friend the other day, encouraging her and giving her support, then my friggin mail program crashed and I lost the message. Sure I could have tried to recompose it, but it just wouldn't have been the same. I was really frustrated and put it off until today. I just sent her another message and I hope it didn't come off as being too harsh but I said what I felt I needed to say and I'm hoping that she will understand that I have only her best interest at heart. She reached out to me first and I let her know that I was there for her. I'm still afraid that she will go back to this loser dude but what can I do? I'll stop now or I'll just get more frustrated. ___________________________________ HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!!!!! Yes, the o-so-adorable swank one turns 27 today. A big ole virtual hug and kiss for ya!
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I had a pleasant surprise yesterday, I got a call from Larry Wong, actor extraordinaire.
Larry, I know you're my friend and all but, DAMN, you look good! Anyway, I hadn't talked to Larry in a while and we caught up on what was happening on the "Asian Web Scene". We're all hoping that Larry will soon find his way over to the West coast for a visit. Don't forget us when you're all rich and famous and stuff Larry!!
I also got a call from my snookums, Ian. I believe he's having withdrawals. I know baby, you miss me. It's gonna be ok. You just keep workin on finishing up that shrine to me.
I'm leaving for LA tonight to attend my cousin Joe's wedding on Saturday. I'm not sure if I'll be checking email or not but that would mean lugging my laptop with me. Hmmm, gonna have to think about that one. I'll be back Monday nite. Try not to miss me too much!!
6-2-99 Wednesday I've actually been sick the past few days, that's why I haven't been on the cam. I've been home yesterday and today, trying to rest, trying to breathe. I don't know what it is but it hurts when I try to take deep breaths. I think my sinuses are messed up too. Yes, I know, just what you wanted to hear. Moving along... On the media tip, there was an article on me in the Sacramento News & Review. Kent of KentTV sent me the following email: Hello Lorraine, Just
in case no one said anything, I saw your article in the weekly If
you would like a couple extra copies of the newspaper for your Say "hi" to M for me! Bye!
Thanks Kent!! Someone also told me that they saw my site on TV in Ireland. Interesting. I did the phone interview with Rachel Leibrock, the reporter from the Sacramento News & Review last week, so I knew the article was coming out. I'll probably have another interview coming out later this month and who knows what else. ___________________________________ Thanks to Daniel Dickinson for sending me this comic strip. He said, "I thought of you INSTANTLY with this one..."
And thanks to Craig Chippendale for sending me the image below... Would you have sunk money into this company?
You DO recognize the geeky little guy in the blue shirt in the lower left corner, don't you?
6-1-99 Tuesday I have a lot to say and I'm hoping it will be therapeutic for me so please bear with me. Rambley rambley rambley... I've had something on my mind these past few days and it's brought back memories from my past. Not so pleasant ones at that. I walked away from someone once. Someone who was not a good person. Looking back, I would think I was lucky because I could walk away from him. He wasn't that lucky because he had to live with himself and the person that he was. I often wondered how he could face himself knowing what a slimebag he was. And yes he did know because I told him repeatedly, I made it clear what I thought of him and he knew that I was right. I was surprised by how easy it was for me to walk away. But then again, when you're dumping garbage, how difficult is it for you to walk away? I hadn't thought about it much recently. It was two months out of my life. I learned from it, I moved on. Now I've been communicating with someone and we share a common bond. I want to help her but I don't know how much weight my words will carry. When you're in love, all logic goes out the door. You forgive and you hope for the best. But there has to be a point where you say, enough is enough. I can't keep letting you go on hurting me. It's all about respect. Respect you have for yourself so that you don't allow someone to keep walking all over you. Respect that people who truly care about you and love you show you. People can only treat you as badly as you allow them to. You can sit there and say, "He doesn't treat me well, he hurts me, yada yada yada..." But at some point you have to say, Ok he sucks now what am I going to do about it? You can demand that he treats you better but what kind of relationship is that where you have to hope for/ask for that person to treat you the way you deserve to be treated? If you love someone, you want the best for them. You want them to be happy, you want to treat them right. People can only treat you as badly as you allow them to. If you walk away from them, they can't continue to treat you that way. You need to have enough respect for yourself to NOT continue being a human doormat. If you do, the other person will probably respect you more. You let them to abuse you again and again, they will eventually lose all respect for you. What is the purpose of all this rambling? I think I want to say all this to her but I don't know if she's ready to hear it. But I'm going to say it to her anyway. Maybe as much for me as for her, I need to say it and hope that it helps her in some way.
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