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The Journal -
April 18- April 24 1999 Memoirs of a BaddGrrl |
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4-23-99 Friday
Hey! Looks like I'm featured on another ZTDV segment!
Sexiest Cameras on the Internet "With links to Internet Tonight's 20 favorite camgirls..." And check out their special link to me... BaddGrrl ZDTV I think my favorite part of the segment is:
My favorite is #4 Rule
#4 You are entitled to your opinions. She's also entitled to post your flaming email so that her legions of fans can mailbomb you silly. Remember that she's exercising her right to free expression. If you don't like it, start your own website. Don't bother filling her mailbox with your vitriol. It's just not worth it.
I'm going to post the entire "How to Email a Camgirl" segment on my page. I love it. A must read for all visitors to any camgirl site.
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I
keep forgetting to add the "As Featured On ZDTV" banner on
my site. I'll put it here and then add it to my main page. Should
I put a "As Seen In Playboy" banner up too?
Maybe I can coax the wonderful Mareciless one to tape this segment for me too. I'll give you another video tape in return again! I know, I know. How very Chinese of me. _________________________________________
I was ICQing Ian today and being his very Ian-like self he made some weird, twisted reference to a lesbian tryst which prompted me to ask him, "I bet if you were to watch a lesbian tryst... So who out of all the online women that you ho around with every day would you want to watch..." He was uncharacteristically quiet after that. I had to send him another ICQ message prompting him, "I'm waiting..." You'll have to email Ian himself and ask him what his response was.
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Whoa, just looked at my last Quizlet poll from last year. I discontinued the Quizlet because I got too lazy to update it and come up with new questions. I decided to use it to see which bridesmaid dress people liked. I went to see the results of the very last poll and was shocked to see how many votes there were. I guess people found the poll through my old journal entries and went and voted. Just for the heck of it, here are the results of that poll:
Yup, that's right. 20,779 votes.
_________________________________________ Omigosh! I knew that April 25th was going to be the one year anniversary of my Journal but I didn't realize that April 24th would be the one year anniversary of "First Contact" from Burt the Psycho Stalker! That's tomorrow! Tomorrow it will be one year since the first time I heard from Burt. Wow, amazing isn't it? I can't tell you how many people wrote to me saying how hilarious they thought the Psycho Stalker story was. Well I'm glad people got a kick out of it but honestly, when I wrote that thing I was hopping mad. Literally. You can ask Fredlet. I was jumping up and down in my cube at work going, "I can't believe this guy!!" I sat down and wrote the Stalker page and posted it. I bet if anyone was watching on the cam they could have seen the steam coming out of my ears, just like in the cartoons. Anyway, since I posted the story, Burt sent me two emails. One was sometime in June or something of 1998. All he said was that he couldn't see my site and asked if it was down or not. Then on New Years, he sent me an email saying Happy New Year and hoped we could put the past behind us or something like that. Whatever. I guess he is still lurking around out there somewhere. Probably reading this right now for all I know.
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I was going back and reading some of my journal entries from the early days. Kinda interesting. I was kinda funny back then. What the heck happened? Did I lose my sense of humor somewhere along the way? Hmm. I was thinking of putting together a "Best of" for my journal entries. Anyone have any favorite stories or postings that they enjoyed? Just drop me a note. Thanks! 4-22-99 Thursday Nite After work today I went to go look for bridesmaid dresses for Judy's wedding. Unfortunately Ev is on vacation in the Philipines and Judy's sister lives in LA so I'm the only one here to make the decision. Besides Judy herself of course. I started trying on different dresses and then Judy said, "Hey, I bought my camera so we can take pictures and show the other bridesmaids what the dresses look like." I remembered that I had my digital camera in my purse so I whipped that out and we took pics with that instead. They came out pretty well actually. I told Judy to just take them from the neck down since we only need to see what the dresses looks like and also cuz I was having a seriously bad hair day. So here's another thing to add to the "And we would care about this WHY?" list. In search of...
the bridesmaid
dress Note: I've brought back the famous Quizlet so people can vote on their favorite dress. Oh joy! Check it out!
4-22-99 Thursday Ian emailed me today in reference to the new pic I put up on my main "splash" page: "Dayam Girl... That's a MUCH more true to life picture you got poster up on your splash page now... Whew!" Ian has stated before that some of the pics of me don't really resemble the "real" me. He said that about 50 times when he met me for the first time at the "Farewell/Good riddance to Ian" dinner. So according to Ian, this is my "true to life" picture...
Yes,
I always stand like that, wear high heels and short black dresses. Slight
tilt to the head... Don't you see me posin' on the
cam like that every day?
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So I wrote a journal entry Saturday night about how I met the Webstress Gabriolet that day. I took the entry down and the full story is on my hard drive at home. I'll try to summarize it but I can't remember all the details now. I went to my softball game last Sat and finally got the meet the famous Gabrielle Chan. I had heard her name before thru mutual friends but never had the pleasure of meeting her in person. So at the game, we introduced ourselves and I later found out she worked for an Internet company. We chatted for a bit and I asked her if she had a website and what the URL was. She told it to me and I thought she said, "GabrielleA.com". When I got home that night, I had planned on looking up her site but decided to surf some journals first. I went to Ian's journal and saw that he mentioned a "Gabriolet" in SF. I thought, "Hey is that Gabbi?" The link was to "Gabriolet.com" so I checked it out and sure enough, it was Gabbi, my new teammate! I felt like such a dork for thinking it was GabrielleA.com. I wrote a long journal entry that night complete with links and a picture of the famous Gabriolet, extolling her beauty and charms. Then in the middle of the night I woke up and thought, "Omigod, what if some freaky stalker finds Gabbi thru my site and starts harassing her. I didn't even ask her permission before posting all that." So I took it down and vowed that I would ask her before posting anything. I finally contacted her, told her what a dork I was for thinking it was GabrielleA and got her ok to post away. Anyway, without further ado, here is the very lovely and charming Gabriolet. And if anyone goes from my site to hers and starts harassing her, I will hunt them down and beat them with my bat. Actually, Gabbi can do that herself, she swings a pretty mean bat. I like reading Gabbi's journal too. In a way she kind of reminds me of me. Except hipper. And without the drugs and therapy. Damn crack cocaine. I'm just a twelve step program waiting to happen. I'm just kidding of course, I don't do drugs. Don't listen to me. Or those voices in my head. _________________________________________
And to Gabbi, I wasn't really giving Ian a pitch. I just told him you were a goddess and that if he met you in person, he would fall at his feet and worship you. Does that sound like a pitch? And as far as my ex's, I'm not in pain. It may have been gas from the ice cream. Maybe I didn't kick that little lactose intolerance problem afterall. Seriously though, I think more than anything I was having a few flashbacks of our times together. Ex #1, we are friends and all is well. Ex #2, I think our feeble attempts at friendship are working. Baby steps. Funny coincidence, at the Cherry Blossom on Sat, I went into the Japanese market there and bought some gummi candies. Those Kasugai gummies, a whole pack of the peachy ones and one of the assorted ones. I'm totally addicted. I was gonna post a pic of them in my journal but they don't have a website. Maybe it's just a gummi kind of week. What do you think? 4-21-99 Wednesday Wow, ok from now on, no writing while drunk. Scary, rambley Journal entries result from typing while under the influence. Stop the madness!
It would probably be a good idea for me not to be so close to my ex boyfriends/lovers. And why do they happen to resurface at the same time? Is there kind of cosmic force in the universe that is causing some kind of weird electromagnetism, drawing them back to me for unknown reasons? Maybe they knew my Palm Pilot was near death's door and they thought they should stay close by. Just in case I needed the emotional support. Thanks man! You guys are great! I love you man! _________________________________________ Ok, it's official. My Palm Pilot is dead. Toe up, throw a tag on that baby cuz it's gettin cold. Sigh. I went to CompUsa after work and picked up the Palm III upgrade card. Got home and popped that baby in there, crossed my fingers and toes and any other appendages that would go that way. My Pilot flickered, teasing me, gasping a few dying breaths. Finally it keeled over and *cough cough* sputtered and died. I'm in mourning. Sunglasses on the cam again tomorrow? Services to be announced. _________________________________________ More on my ex's... I'm so confused. My heart and my hormones are in disarray. I'm torn. I can't sleep. I can't eat. Why now? Why me? Just kidding. I'm just bored. I feel like ice cream. Cookies and Cream anyone? 4-20-99 Tuesday Ugh. What a long-ass day. I was out of the office in a meeting today but it was a good work day. My Palm Pilot died on Sunday and I brought it to work on Monday and asked Fredlet, Queen of all things Palm Pilot to revive it. She performed emergency CPR on it but it kept dying. I was able to do one HotSync but it died again shortly afterwards. Anyone have any suggestions? Should I spend the $100 to try to repair it or go for the $129 to get the Palm III upgrade? In the meantime, I can't call any of my so-called friends cuz I don't have their phone numbers. All their digits are on my PC at work. I just had 4-5 glasses of wine so I'm a little rambley right now. Hmmm, drunken journal entry? A first after nearly a year? Did y'all know it's been almost a year since I started this damn journal? Since the friggin' angst ridden, semi-humorous, relatively grammatically correct Journal of the Queen of Self-Proclaimed BaddNess began?? Who has been with me since the beginning? Who the heck cares what goes on in my so-called life? Frankly, I'm surprised myself. Sometimes I agree with the people who email me and say, "Who cares?" I don't know why. Maybe it's cuz you all know that I am just another person out here. Just another human being trying to make it through the day. Trying to find sanity in a not so sane world. Trying to see goodness where there is so much suckage. Hey, I don't profess to be perfect. I don't profess to be much of anything but someone who can speak and spell English with an 8th grade proficiency. I never said I was an expert in anything. I never said I was something, someone special. I'm just here. Just like you are out there. I feel things. I hurt. I cry. I want all the things that you want. I need all the f*cking things that you want. I feel all the agony and pain that every person out there feels, if not more. The only difference between me and most of you is that I have a website. I have a cam and you can see me. I can't see you. Other than that. I'm just like you. Maybe not. Maybe I assume too much. I was in a meeting all day so now is the first I've heard of the murders in Denver, Colorado. What the hell is happening in our world today? Do you ever think about what you would do if you had one month, one day to live? I think about that a lot actually. I have this feeling that my time here is short. Is that freaky? It's just something that I've felt recently. A month, a year, who knows. You can go at anytime. The gunmen in the Denver shootings ended up killing themselves. I repeat, what the hell is happening to our world today? I'm signing off now. I don't think sobriety will bring any sanity to this. 4-19-99 Monday Thanks to "Bean hammer" for sending me this awesome picture of Jesse L. Martin. I almost fainted when I saw it. Is he gorgeous or what?
_________________________________________ Ian called me again tonight. Yes, I guess he gets priority since he calls all the way from Venezuela. Oh who am I kidding, he gets priority just cuz he's Ian. Hold all calls, I have Ian (father-of-my-lovechild) on the line... It's kind of weird talking to him though because there seems to be a delay from the satellite connection when we're speaking. Either that or Ian is kinda slow on the uptake. There's a lot of "What?!" "Huh?" "Oh, yeah sure." "What?!" That's ok Ian baby, the delay just adds more challenge to our already challenged relationship. I was telling Fredlet today about my peeling, scaley skin from my sunburn. Actually I was showing her, flashing my flakey shoulders at her. "Yo Fred, check THIS out!" Ewwww. She was like, "Man, put that away. I don't gross out easily, but that..." I was like, "Hey I should take a picture and put it up on my journal." She was like, "Oh I think not." I told Ian about my flakiness and offered to send him a large flake as a token of my undying love. He declined. What is with these people? Don't they know they could sell this stuff on eBay for bucks? Now I bet Pamela Anderson Lee's implants would get major bucks if sold on eBay. Don't ya think? Going...going...gone!!
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