A new look and feel for the journal.   Ready for a new start?

1-08-99 Friday

i'm going out of town for a few days.   I'll be back online on Thursday, Jan 14.  See y'all then.   Be good :)

1-06-99 Wednesday

Wow, what a great day!   I got a dozen LONG-STEMMED roses!   I won't mention his name but he is someone that has always known how to make me feel really special and has always treated me like a Princess.   

What a great way to start off the new year!   I have a feeling this could be a really good year.

Also a great big thank you to Mare of the Mareciless Universe for the gift!  She sent me the Bebe umbrella I wanted.

Thanks Mare!!  For everything.

I'm feeling loved.   God that's such a wonderful feeling.   These are the moments you want to hold on to and cherish.   I guess I should start taking more pictures again.  I stopped for a while but I think it's important to capture important moments with special people in your life.   I'm charging up my camera battery as I type...

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Almost forgot the "Conversation Piece" question of the day:

"If twenty people who know you were asked to describe you using only one adjective, what do you think would be the most popular word used?"

Hmm, that's a difficult one for me.    People see different sides of me.    Some words you might hear, "Scary, unpredictable, freaky, weird, strong, crazy, independent".   Most popular word used... FREAKY!  Maybe I should take a poll...

Tomorrow is my birthday!   Woohoo!  I'll be out of the office.   Maybe I'll get toasted and run off to Reno or something...

1-04-99 Monday

It's been almost a month since I've updated this journal.   I was really busy with the holidays and a bit distracted.   Now that my vacation is over, I can't promise that I'll be updating this regularly but as always, stick with me and we'll see how this turns out together, OK?

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1998 was quite a year for me.   I've been looking back on all the hype over my webpage and webcams, the emotional turmoil I went through, all the relationships I've had and people I've met throughout the year.

At this time last year I was in Costa Rica driving around exploring the country but my heart was back here.   I was trying to get over "him" and failing miserably.   It took what seemed like forever but I finally feel like I'm over him.  Or at least I can say I am over the pain.  That horrible stabbing feeling in my heart is gone.   

Throwing myself into my webpage helped a lot.   I spent countless hours posting pages, adding new features, tweaking the webcam and of course, writing in my journal.  The journal.   What I felt was the heart and soul of my website.   I would put my thoughts and feelings and quips of humor in it.   I would expose my heart and myself in it.   People would respond.   Some of it people loved, some of it people hated.   But it was me.   Or one side of me.   I have many sides to me.   The kind, caring, loving side.   The harsh, sarcastic, crude side of me.  And many other sides that some people will never see.   Maybe no one will ever see.    I realize now that I keep so much to myself.  Even my closest friends often don't even know what's going on with me.   Even my significant/insignificant others don't know what is really going on inside my head.   

So here I am, a new year ahead of me.  To be honest, I feel like there's a lot of uncertainty in my life.  I don't know what the future holds for me.   But this I do know...  I have family and friends that love me and care about me.   They are there to share my sorrows and my joys.  They give me support and encouragement when things are bad and they rejoice with me when I'm happy.

Here's looking ahead to a new year.   I'm optimistic at the thought of a new start, new beginnings.

GO 49ERS!!!

I bought a new calendar for myself.  It's called "The Conversation Piece".  Each page has a thought-provoking question that encourages conversation.  Here's one for today:

" Who was your best friend in high school? What made you and your friend so compatible?"

I would add a few more questions onto that and ask, "Where is that person now?  Do you still keep in touch with them?  If not, why?"

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